Reckless
by Firecracker-SJ
Summary: While drinking his sorrows away in a crowded nightclub, Adrian runs into an old college friend. Kol Mikaelson is still the same reckless rich boy he was back then, using magic out in the open and getting into bar fights. Adrian knows he's trouble and yet he can't help but get dragged into Kols crazy world. Warning: Depression, violence, vampirisme and some sexual themes.
1. Chapter 1: Going Down

**AN: **So, this is my first real crossover I've written and I gotta admit, it started out as pure crack. I just love both the Vampire Diaries and Vampire Academy and I thought, wouldn't it be funny if the characters interacted. And so this little thing was born.

Ok, so here are some basics, in case it isn't clear from the the text. This all takes place in the Vampire Academy world, after the last book, but before Bloodlines. (So some spoilers should be expected, but nothing from Bloodlines) The Mikaelson family are normal Moroi (or are they? dumdumdum) and that is all you should know for now.

This is going to be a series and we will totally see more characters from both works interact, but Adrian and Kol are the centerpieces. I hope you'll have as much fun reading this as I did writing.

**Warnings: **Some talk of depression and some light violence.

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**Chapter 1. Going Down.**

The drumming beats of the music and the mindless chatter of the girl who was currently draped over his arm were doing nothing but bad things for his headache. Adrian downed his drink, knowing full well that it would only make the next morning an even bigger hell then usual, but he had come to the point were he had stopped caring.

This was the fourth night in a row that he was holed up in some sleazy club, after escaping from Court, drinking his sorrows away. That was a herculean task, even for a self proclaimed alcoholic like him.

His mother was facing jail time, his father was worse then ever and Rose ...

A jolt of pain went through him and for a moment darkness seemed to cloud his vision.

And the girl just went on jabbering, her voice thankfully mostly drowned out by the relentless beat of the music. What was her name again? Adrian tried to remember, tried anything to stop his mind from wandering towards Her.

Rose.

She was what started this all, this four day binge.

After the events at Court he had hidden himself away, not ready to deal with prying eyes and disdainful looks. He had longed for a drink then, practically went down on his knees and prayed for a bottle of vodka to appear in his parental home. But he had stayed painfully sober while his father ran around talking with lawyers and barking orders at him about keeping up appearance.

He had actually been secretly proud of that, of staying sober when all of that was happening. It made him feel almost in control.

But all of that had changed.

Because of the most stupid, pathetic reason. Because he was insane. Because he couldn't handle seeing Her, seeing Them.

They had been standing across one of the many little courtyards, holding hands, just talking to each other. Rose and Dimitri, Dimitri and Rose. The golden couple. The happy heroes.

And for a moment there Dimitri had looked up and their eyes had met.

Of all the emotions he could have showed, all the looks he could have given Adrian with his stupud face, like surprise, or guilt or even that stoic Guardian stare he was so good at, it had to be pity.

Pity.

His control went out of the window in the first bar he found.

"Dex." The girl beside him whined and it took him a moment to snap out of it and remember that that was the fake name he had given her.

He looked at her, with her fake red hair, big dumb eyes and just awful attitude and he felt like throwing up. Probably wasn't her fault, so much as it was the four shots of tequila, two whiskeys and whatever the hell there was in a Slippery Nipple.

"I'm thirsty, Dex." She went on, pouting as if she was a toddler.

What on earth was he doing with her, she was nothing like ...

He jerked violently away from her , as if that would stop the thought from forming in his head. The girl, he really could not remember her name, looked at him as if he had just grown another head.

"Buy your own drink." He sneered at her, then quickly took off towards the exit, before he had to deal with her reaction.

The club was crowded, so he had to weave through groups of dancing girls and drunk suits. His head was throbbing and he couldn't help but ask himself what the hell he was doing. Leaving Court, running off to a city without any Guardians, getting wasted every night.

He was at the front of the club now, near the booths where couples were making out, somewhat hidden from the prying eyes of the rest of the club.

He had wanted to get away from it all, from Court and from his own head. But there was no escaping the spirit madness, he could feel it now, coiling around him like a snake, choking the life out of him.

"Ivashkov!" A voice called out from amongst the noise and for a moment Adrian stood stunned. Whoever it was, whoever had found him here, he didn't, couldn't, deal with them now.

Then a hand clasped on his shoulder and a face doomed up in front of him.

Short dark hair, even darker eyes that nonetheless seemed to shine playfully in the darkness. Strong features girls used to go crazy over and of course that mouth that was simply made for smirks and grins.

"Mikaelson." The name escaped his lips without his brain getting in the way.

Kol Mikaelson smirked, of course he did, and those lights in his eyes seemed to brighten.

"God, it's good to see you." Kol said in that English drawl of his, before his eyes traveled along his face and body. "Though, I have to say, Ivashkov, you look like shit."

Again it seemed like a witty reply just came out of his mouth on its own accord. "We can't all be as obsessed with our appearance as you are, Mikaelson, how many hours did you spend in front of the mirror today?"

"See, I've missed that charm of yours." Kol shot back, amused. "Come, have a drink with me."

Part of Adrian longed to tell him no, to go back to his hotel room and go to bed. It wasn't like he and Kol had ever been good friends. They barely counted as acquaintances to be exact. But there was something about him and their moment of banter that reminded Adrian of the good times in college, when the world was a much easier place.

So he ignored the dark feelings that were playing around in his head and sat down in the booth with him.

"One drink." Adrian warned though, feeling that he had already reached his limit.

Kol rolled his eyes at that. "When have we ever stuck to that?"


	2. Chapter 2: Light Me Up

**AN: **So here's chapter two. More drinking fun, some reminiscing and an unexpected turn of events. I'm starting to think of ways on how to incorporate more characters from both canons into this story. I'm having way too much fun with figuring out what element some of the vampires would have.**  
**

**Warning: **Some minor violence.

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**Chapter 2. Light Me Up.**

Adrian spared a glance at Kol as he moved around some drunk dancers, trying not to spill the drinks he had just bought for them.

They hadn't really been friends in college. Hell, Adrian wasn't even sure if he actually had liked Kol back then. There was something about the way he smirked at you, as if you were simply there to entertain him. He also seemed to make a sport out of finding the most innocent thing to say, that would hurt someone the most.

In short, he was a snarky spoiled asshole. So, maybe it was weird that they hadn't been friends.

Kol placed the drinks down in front of him and slid into the booth beside him. The strong smell of the liquor hit him hard and though his stomach lurched he couldn't help but laugh.

"Sambuca, Mikaelson, really?" The memory of the last time they took those shots still haunted him.

"Problem?" Kol smirked back.

Adrian shook his head, not even dignifying that with and answer and he leaned back in the booth. "Haven't you forgotten something though?" he remarked, waving at the drinks.

Kols eyes flared up at that and he raised his eyebrows suggestively. Adrian knew what he was going to do only a split second before he did it. With a wave of his hand the liquor in the glasses lit up.

Adrian gasped audibly. He was drunk and just a reckless person in general, but even he wasn't stupid enough to use Moroi magic in public.

"Dammit Kol, are you insane?" Adrian hissed at him, glancing around franticly to see if anyone had noticed. But the haze in his head made it impossible to tell.

Kol didn't seem to care at all, he sat back nonchalantly, raising his glass.

"Relax, Ivashkov." He drawled in that stupid accent of his, clearly amused by his reaction.

"I'm not going to relax, you dick". Adrian spat back. "I've got enough problems without have to deal with you exposing us in public."

"That reminds me, how is your family doing?"

And there it was, the card Kol had been dying to play. It was like a slap in the face and Adrian lurched to his feet, wanting very much to return the favor and punch that smirk of Kols face.

But before he could so much as yell at him the redhead from before appeared by their table. She looked about as murderous as Adrian felt. A guy about the size of a small mountain stood beside her.

The last thing he heard was: "That's the guy." And then he was suddenly sprawled on the floor with a feeling like head has just been split open.

It was one of those moment when he really regretted not brining a Guardian along.

The big guy seemed to want to lunge for him again and Adrian already curled up as defensively as he could, but suddenly Kol was there blocking him off. This guy looked like he could eat Kol for lunch and still have room for dessert, but Adrian remembered seeing Kol fight once. Something about sleeping with someones sister, or mother maybe. The memory whizzed through his head and disappeared into the fog his drunkenness and the recent head trauma seemed to had created.

The guy tried to shove Kol out of the way, but he was faster then that. He weaved around the guy and sprang forward, hitting the guy right on the side of his face. One upper cut later and the guy went down with a force that would probably have started an earthquake somewhere. Only a Guardian could have fought better.

The girl shrieked and Kol only had to turn to her before she ran off. The music was still going on, but people close by had stopped dancing and were now staring at them.

Adrian was in a lot of pain, was definitely too drunk for this and just way too tired, but all he could do at that moment was laugh. It sounded slightly hysterical even in his own ears.

Kol knelt down next to him, paying no mind to the crowd that was forming around them and for a moment he looked dead serious as he carefully examined were the guy had hit him. It was only for a moment and then his normal careless expression returned.

"And here I thought I was about to get punched." He quipped lightly as he tried to get Adrian back to his feet. Adrian tried to help in that department, but it seemed like his legs and the rest of his body were no longer on speaking terms.

Adrian had to lean heavily on Kol, one arm slung tightly around his shoulder.

"You still are." He managed to slur. His head felt like it was going to split open any second now and every step they took send a jolt of pain right up through his spine, making him wince.

"I'll doubt you'll even remember that in the morning." Kol replied as he dragged him through the exit, out into the cool dark night. The fresh air hit him like a ton of bricks and Adrian staggered on his feet, till Kol wrapped his free arm around his waist, holding him tighter.

"I'll make a note of it." Adrian murmured and for a moment all he could think about was how close he was to Kol. Looking at him he could see every detail of his face, from his long dark lashes to the corner of that mouth that irritated him so much. Girls used to go crazy over him in college, though that probably had more to do with his money and the power of his family, but his good looks did help.

Did he just think that Kol was good looking. He was a dick.

"Where are you staying, Ivashkov?" Kol asked, seemingly paying no attention to his stares.

Adrian had to really think about that, the name of his hotel seemed to have escaped him.

"Hotel." He slurred. "Key's in left pocket."

Kol sighed loudly, then freed one hand to dig into his jean pocket. A sensation that definitely made Adrian shudder.

"Shouldn't you buy me dinner first." He joked to break the tension.

Kol snorted at that and finally fished the key out.

"I don't know, Ivashkov, I always pegged you for the easy type."

Adrian frowned at that. "Are you calling me loose?"

"Yes. Yes I am." Kol checked the card. "Ooh, nice hotel. And thankfully not that far away. Can you promise me that you won't throw up on me if I take you there?"

Adrian simply shrugged at that.

"I can make no guarantees."


	3. Chapter 3: Blender

**AN: **Sorry for the long wait, NaNoWriMo got in the way and demanded all of my time. But now I am back and bustling with ideas. I am trying to churn out more chapters and get this ball rolling.**  
**

In this chapter there's the aftermath of Adrian's night drinking and a trip down memory lane.

**Warning: **Some minor adult themes (spiking drinks, hangovers)

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**Chapter 3: Blender.**

Adrian was no stranger to major hangovers, but the one he was currently experiencing was definitely one for the books.

Just turning in his bed made pain jolt through his head. The room spun, his stomach was staging an uprising and the sunlight peeking through the curtains felt more like laser beams. Adrian groaned helplessly, groping around for a pillow to shield himself from the light, but instead he found a note laying next to him. He flung it away without so much as looking at it and in his next attempt he finally found a pillow and he pressed it tightly to his face.

When he next woke up the sunlight was no longer in his face, he had kicked off his blankets and the worst of the hangover seemed to be behind him.

Leaving him with the feeling like his head was an overripe tomato that was going to burst any second now, a blurred vision he couldn't quite explain and a wave of nausea that made it quite clear that food was out of the question for, oh about the next 100 years at least.

Holding his head, because surely it was going to fall off otherwise, he made his way into the bathroom, blinking against the bright lights. He grabbed blindly for the aspirin bottle by the sink, which seemed to be his new morning routine nowadays instead of getting coffee, when he caught a look of his reflection in the mirror.

He had a black eye. But no just any black eye: A Black Eye. From his left eye to his cheekbone a great black and purple bruise contrasted against his pale skin. There was a cut up by his eyebrow where dried blood stuck to his skin, even though the wound itself was already slowly healing. His eyelid was swollen, which would explain why he was having trouble seeing.

Just looking at it seemed to hurt so Adrian downed some of the painkillers, trying to drive away the feeling like he had been put into a blender.

He staggered back into the bedroom, trying to jog his memory. He had been at the club, a human club downtown. There was a girl. He had wanted out, a hand, a smile. No a smirk.

Adrian almost sat down on the note he had flung away earlier. He picked it up and read it.

_You should hit me, Kol Mikaelson, next time we meet. Apparently I deserve it._

_Have fun with the hangover._

And just like that the memories of last night flooded back to him. He even remembered laying on the bed, ordering Kol to write that note.

Kol Mikaelson. This wasn't the first time that jerk got him into trouble or the first time he woke up with a splitting headache because of him. He should have know better then to hang out with him, because Kol was nothing but trouble.

Adrian couldn't even remember when they first officially met. They went to the same college, partied with the same friends and of course used the same feeders.

But he still remembered the first time he really met him.

These Moroi girls, the Somov sisters, had thrown a party in their sorority house. It was a crowd of mostly Moroi, dhampirs and a few lost humans. Of course there had been beer and jello shots and they even got a band to come and play for them.

Adrian hadn't arrive until the party was already in full swing, because he found there was nothing as pathetic as a party that still needed to find its rhythm. His Guardian at the time, this stick in the mud called Jimmy, hung back after some monetary persuasion.

One of his dorm mates passed him a bottle of peach flavored vodka and well, things went as they always went. He danced, drank and had his fair share of make out sessions, till he got bored of that and started looking for a bathroom.

He climbed up the stairs, past one of the Somov sisters who was now draped all over some freshmen, and onto the landing. There were more people upstairs, most of them shambling drunkly or making out in doorways, though there was one girl who seemed to be purposely opening doors and looking into rooms. Before Adrian could so much as take another step someone pulled him into a room and closed the door behind him.

Now there were several thoughts that he could have had in that moment, like: well this is a recipe for murder, or easy ladies there is enough for everyone. But he was quite drunk in that moment and a bit off his game, so the only thoughts that passed through his mind were _wheee!_ and _hey it's dark in here_.

The person who had pulled him in pressed him against the wall and shushed him before he could speak up, pressing one slim finger against his lips. It took Adrian a moment to realize that this person was a guy and a vaguely familiar looking on at that.

"So, do you regularly drag other guys into darkened rooms?" Adrian whispered sarcastically, despite not really knowing why he was being quiet. The situation just felt like it.

"Only every other week." The guy quipped back. He spoke with a vaguely British accent, though Adrian couldn't tell what it exactly was. "Was there a girl outside?" the guy went on. "Bratty, blond, looking ready to commit a gruesome murder?"

The girl opening doors came to mind and despite being insanely drunk, Adriane made the connection. "So what did you do to her?"

At that the guy smiled. It was the kind of smile that made you want to check your pockets to make sure that your wallet was still there.

"I merely offered her date a drink. I thought it was common knowledge that you should never accept drinks from a stranger who is grinning at you, but apparently he didn't know that." The guy shrugged casually.

Adrian had the distinct feeling that he really didn't want to know what was in that drink.

"So what is she then, an ex?"

"Worse, my sister." The guy said wincing.

"Well, good luck with that then." Adrian said, moving to the door again, but the other guy held him into place. Which made the whole situation just more awkward then it already was.

"Listen, if you help me, I promise I'll make it up to you." The guy pleaded and yet there was something in his eyes that made it seem like the guy was sure that Adrian would help him out.

Hell, Adrian still didn't know why he agreed to help him, only that a moment later he found himself confronting the sister, giving the guy time to escape.

Out of all the dangerous people Adrian had met before and after, Rebekah Mikaelson was probably still the one that scared him the most. How anyone that angelic looking could be so evil he didn't know.

He bumped into her just as she was about to head to the room where her brother was hiding and Adrian made a show of being drunk and unstable on his feet, clinging to her like she was a life raft.

There was a very doll like angelic look to her, with her big eyes, rosy pursed lips and long blond hair, but the expression on her face was purely demonic.

"Ugh, get off." She sneered, her accent matching to her brothers. She tried to push him away but he clung to her, turning her around so that she was now with her back to the door.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart." He drawled as he kept on eye on the door where the brother was now making his escape.

"Whatever." She said, looking at him like he was some kind of heinous bug she wanted to squash. That hurt his ego a little, but he had enough Dutch courage to not give a damn.

"God, you're gorgeous." He breathing, pretending to be mesmerized by her. Behind her the brother stuck up his thumb and mouthed: I owe you, before rushing down the stairs.

"Toss off." She sneered one last time, before breaking away from him.

The buzz of his phone brought Adrian out of his stroll down memory lane and he groaned as he got up to find it on his dresser. It was an unknown number calling.

"Yeah?" he answered groggily.

"Ivashkov!"the voice on the line said, though to Adrian it felt like he had shouted it. "How's that head of yours?"

"How did you even get this number, Mikaelson?" Adrian asked and for a moment he wasn't sure if he was annoyed or glad that Kol had gotten it somehow.

"Oh, I stole it from you last night when you finally passed out." Kol replied casually.

Definitely annoyed.

"So Ivashkov, when you're feeling better, come meet me at the Dragon Room in two hours." It wasn't a question and it was clear that Kol expected him to show up.

"Why should I?" Adrian shot back.

"We never got to enjoy our drinks. I'll see you then, love." And with that condescending diminutive he hung up.

Adrian rolled his eyes so hard, it actually hurt thanks to the black eye. If Kol really thought that he was going all the way to the Dragon Room of all places just to meet up with him, after what happened the night before then he was more insane then he was.

And yet two hours later, Adrian found himself hailing a cab.


	4. Chapter 4: Factory Girl

**AN:** New chapter, yay and this one is about twice as long as usual. Well that is because some plot is finally kicking in and I had a blast writing this. So have fun.

This chapter has two cameo's, one from the Vampire Diaries and one from the Vampire Academy and we'll get to see Adrian and Kol's fun night at the Dragon Room, which ends, well, you'll see.

**Warning:** Violence, some mental health issues and vampiric themes (blood drinking/feeders)

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**Chapter 4: Factory Girl.**

The Dragon Room was a reputable club, at least among a certain layer of the Moroi society. That was one of the reasons why Adrian had been ignoring it in favor of human nightclubs in the city. One of the other reasons was that it was owned by none other then Abe Mazur, who on the list of people Adrian didn't want to run into, was pretty high up.

So why was he going? He honestly didn't know. His drinking binge was starting to get boring and no matter how much he drank, or with how many girls he flirted, his mind still wandered to _Her_. He needed something, anything to occupy his mind and well, hanging out with Kol Mikaelson was a lot of things, but it was never boring.

So Adrian payed the cabdriver after getting dropped off in the shadiest looking warehouse district in town. The sun had just set and the encroaching darkness made the empty warehouses and factories look like giant brick predators that were just waiting to pounce. The place really looked like it would be crawling with vampires and Adrian couldn't help but smile at that.

He walked into an alley which lead to another abandoned looking factory, but this one had two very unpleasant looking bouncers guarding the door. As Adrian got closer he realized they were dhampirs, but they didn't have that Guardian look about them. Some of Zmey's henchmen no doubt.

"Good evening fellas." Adrian said as he walked up to them, making sure to show his fangs as he was smiling.

They barely glanced at him before opening the door. Great security these guys were.

"Thank you, my chatty friends." Adrian uttered, before strolling into the club.

While the outside had looked like all the other run down buildings in the area, the inside would have fitted better in an old country house in a fancy part of England. Thick carpets lay in the floor, velvet drapes hung on the walls to obscure the brick and mortar of the building. Antique furniture was scattered around the massive hall, some of them half hidden in nooks and crannies for a more intimate place to sit.

Despite the early hour most of them were already taken by wealthy young Moroi, by the looks of it.

A human girl with the glassy eyes of a feeder took his coat and for a moment Adrian felt a pang of hunger. He hadn't fed since he left Court, five days ago now. A place like this would have a dozen feeders ready for the clientèle to use, but Adrian wasn't sure if he trusted anyone that worked for Zmey, even high on vamp bites feeders.

The bar was huge and golden and it was stocked with more different types of liquor then even he could name. Another human girl stood behind the bar, only she didn't have that feeder look about her, her eyes were clear and focused.

Taking it all in Adrian couldn't help but dig it. Zmey was a manipulative bastard, but the man had style.

He ordered a martini from the bartender, who even laughed at his shaken not stirred comment, despite probably hearing it ten times a night. He leaned in to flirt with her some more when the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He turned around and sure enough, Kol was walking over to him, looking no worse for wear after their little adventure last night, the lucky bastard.

Just to humor his curiosity Adrian focused on Kol's aura. He hadn't been drinking yet, so his powers were still unmuddled and clear and he could see it without trying too much. Obviously it was mostly orange, for his confident and egoistical nature. There was some murky red there as well, for passion and anger and recklessness of course. But then there was another color, mixed in just at the edges, that Adrian hadn't seen before. It was a dark blue, so deep it was almost black, but it had an indigo sheen to it. It was barely noticeable but it was there and Adrian had no idea what it meant.

"Well look at you, Ivashkov, black and blue look good on you." Kol drawled, his eyes fixated on Adrian's face.

"I know right?" Adrian replied, ignoring his aura findings. "I'm considering getting punched in the face on a weekly basis, you know, to keep looking this tough all the time."

"Well if you ever need help with that, I'd simply be honored to oblige." Kol winked before turning to the bartender. "The usual, love." He drawled and to Adrian's amazement the girl nearly melted before she started pouring him a whiskey sour.

Two hours and too many drinks later Adrian slumped in his chair at the table Kol had gotten them. He was feeling woozy and lightheaded and not from the alcohol. He was starting to reconsider his stance on using Zmey's feeders. This was the longest he had ever gone without blood and it was hell.

As if he could read his mind Kol looked up at him and said: "I wasn't kidding yesterday, you really do look like shit, Ivashkov." He was smiling but there was almost a look of concern in his eyes as well. "You look pale enough to pass for a Strigoi."

"I haven't exactly been on the healthiest of diets for the last few days." Adrian admitted. "And I have been punched recently. In the face. Really painfully."

"Ah I see. You've been living of booze and self pity then." Kol pretending to sound understanding. "Well that won't do. Come on." He downed his latest drink and got to his feet, motioning for Adrian to do the same. "Feeders first, then ridiculously expensive food in ridiculous small portions after. I know just the place." He had that look on his face again, expecting him to do what he said just because he said it.

Reluctantly Adrian got to his feet.

"Well if you insist, lead the way."

Kol lead him down some industrial stairs to a different part of the club, which managed to look even more expensive and exclusive. It was a long stretched hallway, with many closed doors on either side. A dhampir guard had waved them through, but Adrian had the feeling very few people were actually allowed in this part of the club.

"There's a girl here." Kol said as he stopped by a door in the middle of the hallway that looked no different from the others. "and I swear she tastes like honey. Stay here, I'll see if she's free."

He opened the door and went inside. Adrian only saw a glance of the room inside before the door closed again. It looked a bit like a reception area, with a young Moroi man standing behind a desk with a computer on it, flanked by two more dhampir guards.

A few moments later Kol came out again, triumphantly holding an ornate key in his hands.

"We're lucky, love, she's in today." He drawled clearly pleased with himself.

For a moment Adrian thought about stopping this all. Going into a creep VIP area of a club owned by Zmey? That was a recipe for a full blown life time movie disaster. But he was just so damn hungry. Just the thought of blood made his mouth water. So against all of his better judgment, which wasn't much but still had some sway in his decision making, he followed Kol down the hall again, where he opened a door.

The girl sat in a small room, lounging on a fainting couch, reading a book when they opened the door. She put it on the delicate looking table in front of her and looked up smiling at them. She was tall and skinny, with brown hair that fell to her shoulders and a long face with eyes that seemed to be too big for it. Adrian couldn't help but notice that her smile faltered slightly when she looked at Kol.

"Lord Mikaelson." She said sounding a little terse.

"My dear Vicky." Kol smiled back, closing the door behind them. "How have you been?"

"Good." She said, non committing. She glanced over at Adrian for a moment and he couldn't help but feel that there was some history here that he was unaware of.

Kol motioned at her dramatically. "Go ahead, Ivashkov, she's all yours. I already fed today."

The girl gave him a quick smile, before she undid the scarf she was wearing and exposed her neck. Adrian had to force himself to simply walk over and sit down like a normal person, instead of an hungry beast. He sank his teeth into her and it was heaven.

For a moment he forgot all about where he was and who with. He had been so hungry, without even realizing it and this girl tasted so good. Kol hadn't been lying, her blood was as sweet as honey.

Strength was flowing back into him, making him realize just how weak he had gotten. He savored the taste for one long moment, before finally breaking away from the girl. She lounged back on the couch, that far off look in her eyes and a goofy smile on her lips.

"I needed that." Adrian sighed.

Kol was suddenly beside him, clasping him on the shoulder.

"You look better already."

There was a mirror on the wall and Kol was right, he did look better. There was color on his cheeks again, his eyes shone brighter and best of all, his bruise was starting to heal already, turning a different shade. The cut by his eyebrow was already gone.

"I hate to say this, but this was a good idea." Adrian said reluctantly.

"Said with such astonishment." Kol shot back. "Everything I do is always a great idea."

They left the girl to ride out her high and made their way back up to the main club to get their coats. Adrian snorted at that statement

"They don't always work out, but I always end up having fun." Kol added in a drawl as they stepped outside, his smirk working over time.

The nights air felt good and Adrian took in deep gulps of it. The dhampir guards didn't even blink at them and Adrian saluted them as he followed Kol to where his car was parked.

Tonight had been a good night and that was something that had been pretty rare in his last few weeks. Kol was a dick and Adrian remembered that he still wanted to punch him for the other night, but hanging out with him was, well, easy. He didn't have to try and pretend to be anyone he was not. After everything that had happened, with Rose, at court, with his mother, just being able to be himself was weirdly liberating.

"A penny for your thoughts." Kol said, amused by his change of mood, no doubt.

"Just thinking about how much money I am going to make you spend tonight. I'm going for bankruptcy. Poverty would suit you." Adrian joked

Kol laughed. "Then you have got a lot of work set out for you."

They turned around a corner, into a deserted street and suddenly someone was beside him, half hidden in the darkness. Adrian had no time to respond before the figure grabbed his arm and yanked him back. As he stumbled Adrian let out, though he would never admit it, not the most manliest of startled screams.

The figure turned to him and it took Adrian a moment in his surprise to realize that he actually knew this guy.

"Eddie?" He exclaimed as his mind tried to race up to what was just happening.

"Adrian." Eddie replied sternly, his face in a passive Guardian stare.

"You know this kid, Ivashkov?" Kol asked. He was still standing on the same spot as before and while he was still smiling, Adrian could see he was tensed up, ready to react if needed. The smile he had on was a farce, his eyes were suspicious.

"Yeah." Adrian said, looking back at Eddie, who was still holding him tight. So tight that it hurt even. "Shit Castile, you nearly gave me an heart attack. And hold me any tighter and you are going to break something." He tried to tug his arm free, but Eddie held his iron grip.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" Eddie asked and Adrian could see anger seethe underneath his trained calmness.

"What are you on about?" Adrian asked. "Why are you even here?"

"Let go of him." Kol said, almost casually, from his spot a few feet away. Eddie payed him no heed.

"Running of like that. You had everyone worried sick, not knowing if you were alive or dead in a ditch somewhere. Lissa has been uneasy for days and Jill can barely sleep, she's so upset."

Hearing that was like a slap to the face. He hadn't even thought about how his flight would have affected them, least of all how it would have affected Jailbait. And why should he, a small rebellious part of his mind said. Why should he care about any of them. This was his life, not theirs. Nothing Eddie could say could make him feel guilty for leaving.

But he hadn't finished.

"And Rose almost abandoned her post to come and drag your ass home."

Rose.

How strange these things went. Just moments ago Adrian had been thinking about her, with no pain, no bitterness, almost as if he were free of here. But this, this was a low blow, a sucker punch right through his heart and if he didn't know any better, he would say that it stopped beating.

Rose was going to drag him home? She was going to come and tell him what to do? Rescue him?

The darkness stirred and coiled around him tight and Adrian flinched back as if stricken.

"She doesn't care." He spat out, yanking his arm again and this time Eddie did let go.

Kol stepped closer and Eddie gave him a concerned look and suddenly Adrian was laughing. He didn't know how he could do that at a moment like this, but let's face it, this was funny. This whole thing, his whole life, was fucking hilarious.

She was going to swoop in and be his savior. Save him from himself. Be a good little Guardian and protect the Moroi royal.

"None of them care, Castile." He laughed. "They just don't want to look like the bad guys here. They want me to be alright, so they can stop feeling guilty."

Eddie was now staring at him as if he was stark raving mad. That just made Adrian laugh more, throw back his head and be a lunatic.

"I'm alright. Don't you see? Go tell them that, Castile. I'm al –fucking- right."

"Adrian." Kol said softly and it threw him for a second, cause Kol never called him by his first name. His smile was gone now and he looked at him with serious concern in his eyes. Adrian would have liked it better if he had been smirking at him, smiling at him like he was some kind of joke.

"You've lost it." Eddie whispered and there was actually pity in his voice.

Pity.

_Pity in Dimitri's eyes._

The darkness coiled tighter, like a snake around it's prey.

"You're going home with me." Eddie added. "You need help, Adrian."

He grabbed his arm again, probably ready to drag him all the way back to the Court, but Adrian was ready this time. He swung his other arm back and to his own surprise, Eddie didn't see it coming and he landed a punch on the side of the dhampir's face.

It wasn't hard and by the looks of it it hurt his fist more then Eddie's face, but it stunned him enough for Adrian to stumble back to where Kol was standing.

Eddie looked at him, shock and hurt in his eyes. He stepped forward, but so did Kol, sliding in front of Adrian for some reason. Adrian tried to push him away, but Kol stood his ground.

"I think it's time for you to leave, Guardian." He said and Adrian had never heard him sound so mirthless and stern.

"Look at him, he needs help!" Eddie exclaimed, pointing at Adrian.

"He doesn't seem to want it from you. So get lost. Run back to court and your little child queen. We have no use of you here."

Eddie set his jaw determinedly and took another step forward. Maybe he thought that he could take on Kol. Maybe he thought that his mission was more important then his own well being.

As in the club the night before Adrian knew what Kol was going to do, before he did it. This time he had ample time to stop him, but he didn't. He simply watched in stunned silence as Kol flicked his hand and Eddie's sleeve caught on fire.

Eddie cried out in pain and shrugged off his jacket as fast as he could. Kol moved his hand again and this time a garbage can behind Eddie exploded in a fiery mess, showering him with burning trash. He tried to cover his face with his hands and screamed as it burned him.

For a moment all Adrian could do was watch. Watching Eddie struggle was almost cathartic. If only the others could be in his place. If only _She_ ...

Kol lifted his hands again, but this time Adrian stopped him. Despite the darkness, despite some part of him wanting to see him and everyone he knew burn, he knew that it was wrong. Eddie was his friend. He probably only came here because Lissa send him. Adrian didn't hate him, he didn't hate anyone but himself. If someone should get hurt it was him, not Eddie.

"That's enough." He said, keeping the darkness at arms length, fighting against it's influence and Kol lowered his hands, giving him a nonchalant shrug.

"If you say so. Shall we?" Kol motioned towards his car, the keys already in his hand.

Adrian glanced back at Eddie, who was slowly getting up, nursing his burned hands. What had they done?

What had he done?


	5. Chapter 5: Void and Null

**AN: ** This took me way too long to write, because I wanted it to be perfect and because I am a huge procrastinator. Sorry for that.

I am having way to much fun with the dark parts of this story, I love me some angst.

**Warning:** Talk of violence, mental health issues

* * *

**Chapter 5: Void and Null**

The ride back to his hotel was mostly a blur. Kol broke pretty much every traffic law in existence, speeding along as if he had a death wish all of a sudden.

Adrian couldn't bare to look at him and he balked at the thought of continuing the evening as if nothing had happened at all. As if they hadn't just horrifically burned someone.

He couldn't get it out of his head.

The smell of it, Eddie's screams.

And the way he had felt, the way he had just so carelessly allowed Kol to hurt him. The way he had wanted him to burn.

Kol parked the car in front of the hotel. He didn't seem stressed by the attack at all. No, in fact, he seemed annoyed that Adrian was upset by it.

"Here we are Ivashkov, if you want to be a drag and go straight to bed then out you go." He waved his hand dismissively.

"Fuck you." Was all Adrian could say to that. He left the car without another word and Kol raced off into the night. That was it. Hell would freeze over before Adrian would ever talk to him again.

His hands still shook by the time he was in his room and his head throbbed painfully.

There was nothing physically wrong with him. The blood had cured his bruises and hangover splendidly. It was the darkness. The madness. The attack on Eddie had drawn it out into the open and now it had gotten a sniff of freedom and it wanted more. Adrian could feel it thrashing inside of him, like some kind of animal that wanted to get out. It had never felt like that before. He had never felt like that before.

The only thing that seemed to help was laying down on his bed and laughing.

He laughed until his throat cramped and he couldn't barely croak out another sound. It wasn't just crazy, it was insane. He was insane.

God, his head was so heavy. So full. It pressed against his eyes and when he closed them he could feel just how tired he was. So tired that he seemed to fall asleep instantly.

It happened before he could do something, not that he knew of anything that could stop it. He was pulled into a spirit dream.

He recognized the feel of it, though he had never been on the receiving end of one. It was a feeling like a waking dream, of reality and fantasy fusing together. He could best describe it as stepping out of a cold room into the warm rays of the sun, you knew you should feel warm, but the cold still lingered if only for a moment and in that moment you were both fire and ice, awake and asleep.

He was in the one of the squares at Court. It was night time, but instead of it being full of people, it was deserted. Adrian's heart sank.

He didn't need this right now. He was enough of a mess as it was.

Behind him someone cleared their throat.

He wondered if he could pull himself into another spirit dream, inception his way out of this situation.

"Adrian." The person behind him said sternly and it wasn't who he had expected to hear at all.

He had though it would have been Lissa, he had dreaded that in fact. Despite everything, he couldn't think of facing her now. Somehow the thought of letting her down weighed heavy on him. Maybe cause she was such a saint and he ... well he was not. But the person who had pulled him in and who was now standing in front of him, her arms crossed and her face a mask of pure anger, was Sonya Karp.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" She practically barked at him.

"I do appear to be partly in yours, so yes." Adrian quipped as he tried to make sense of the matter. What the hell was she doing inside his head?

Her expression turned even more murderous. "Eddie called."

And suddenly it all became so very very clear.

Apparently the Let's get Adrian back to his miserable self program was a team effort that everyone at Court was involved with, even random teachers and guardians in training. Who knew, maybe they had involved a couple of janitors as well. How fucking helpful. Adrian could just picture them all sitting in a circly, wringing their hands together, talking about what had to be done.

"You attacked him." She spat, clearly pissed at his continued silence.

For a moment he felt a pang of guilt.

It looked bad, the way he had just left Eddie there. He should have healed him or at least he should have dropped him at the club where some kind of vampire first aid would be available. But no, he had just left him.

He should have acted differently. But he couldn't.

It was the madness, that monster inside of him that had controlled him. He couldn't have stopped, couldn't have helped because it wouldn't let him.

Never before had it drove him to something like this, to violence, never before had it made him crave other people's pain. That wasn't who he was. He knew he wasn't a good person, he was a drunk and a slacker, but he wasn't a sadist. He wasn't evil. But at that moment, he had been just that. He had been no better then a Strigoi.

And for that he felt an almost unbearable guilt. Guilt for not being able to control the darkness, guilt for being just as weak as everyone thought he was.

But he'd go to hell before he would tell Them that. He wasn't going to be their pathetic little project they wanted to fix. Poor weak Adrian.

And so he finally said, pretending to be as casual as could be: "He shouldn't have come."

"Shouldn't have come? Shouldn't have come?!" Sonya screeched angrily and as she did the dream seemed to shiver. "Do you know how big of a mess you are in? First you were just some runaway brat we were all willing to help, but now you have assaulted a Guardian! No, not just a Guardian, a friend!"

"And?" Adrian asked, trying to ignore her words, but she was right. There would be consequences, big ones even. Adrian had never heard of a Moroi attacking a Guardian before, but he imagined he wouldn't get away with just a slap on the wrist.

"And! You can go to jail for this! You should be glad Eddie called us and not the Guardians."

Oh yes, he should be glad that they were babying him, protecting his pathetic little self from the real word. Really fucking grateful. He should just go back to Court and kiss their asses, that's how thankful he should be.

For a moment he wondered just why he was getting so upset about this. His friends were trying to help him, trying to look out for him and despite what he was saying, he could use their help. But it just infuriated him. He didn't want their help. He didn't need their help.

"Let the Guardians come get me. I don't care. I'm not afraid of them. You know how much damage a spirit user can do, Sonya." It sounded like such a stupid fake threat, but it felt good saying it. Especially since it seemed to turn Sonya's righteous anger into a look of shock and horror.

"You don't know what you are saying." She stammered.

"I do actually. I've been training." The only training he had been doing was building his alcohol resistance and aspirin intake, but she didn't know that.

"You let it in, haven't you. You've let the madness consume you."

Was she wrong? Was this, provoking her for no reason, not a sign of insanity. He sure as hell didn't feel sane. But what of it? Why couldn't he be insane. Maybe it would be better if people thought he was. Maybe then they would leave him the hell alone.

"You're right Sonya, I did. I let it in."

"Adrian." She tried, stepping forward, but Adrian slid away from her.

"I wasn't a coward like you." He went on, really getting into the performance now. "I didn't pussy out and became a Strigoi to stop it."

Just as he had thought, Sonya flinched at that verbal jab. He let out the most fake maniacal laugh he could muster. It was performance worthy of a community theater, but Sonya seemed to buy it. Who knew, maybe he had a future in acting after all. He sure had the looks for it.

"It's liberating really. It's like I have all the lack of morals a Strigoi enjoys, without being a cold disgusting corpse. Honestly, I think this was who I was always meant to be. Crazy Ivashkov. Adrian Psycho Ivashkov, it's a bit of a serial of a serial killer name, isn't it, Adrian? Don't look so scared Sonya, you should be happy. I could have never done it without you lot. My dear, dear friends."

"Adrian." She said again and she approached him like he was a dangerously wild animal. "Just stay at the hotel. Stay there and we will come get, we will get you help." She even talked in a calming way.

"That will be fun. Go ahead, come get me, I could use the entertainment. Better yet, send in Belikov, I'll have such fun horribly maiming him."

He knew he was crossing a line, but he couldn't help but take running start and leap over it. He took control of the dream, used his mind to create the image of a beaten bloody body, floating in the air. Sonya screamed.

The dream evaporated almost immediately and when he woke up his head was on fire.

He finished of the bottle of aspirin but even that didn't seem to help.

What the hell had he done?

He couldn't even remember why he had acted the way he did in the dream. Most of it was a haze.

"Fuck." He muttered as he remembered the last thing Sonya said. She knew he was at the hotel, she probably cut of the dream to send in a team to grab him. And when they did they would send him straight to the nut house. He had practically signed sealed and delivered a death threat.

He hadn't just burned his bridges, he had nuked them from orbit.

He had to leave immediately, if he wanted to be able to sleep in a room that didn't have mattresses taped to the walls.

But where could he go? Not another hotel, since they probably were tracking his credit cards.

He didn't know anyone in the city ... well expect for ...

"Dammit."

There was nobody else he could turn to. Kol was going to have a fucking field day.


End file.
